Copied this from another place, just too darn funny not to post.
Breaking News!!!!
OBama Wins 2009 Nobel Peace Prize In 12 days!!!
Breaking: Obama wins the Heisman Trophy after watching a college football game
Breaking: Obama saves favorite sled "Rosebud" from furnace
Breaking: Obama stars in Terminator IV. Plays the Obaminator
Breaking: Barack Hussein Obama's likeness to be carved into Mount Rushmore
Breaking: Barack Hussein Obama Declared Winner of 2000 Florida Recount
Breaking: Obama Named Most Interesting Man in the World
Breaking: Obama beats JIM THOMPSON at Balloon sit/egg carry race
Breaking: Barack Obama wins Top Chef Las Vegas, awarded FOUR Michelin Stars
Breaking: Obama wins $10 Million Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
Breaking: Obama named the NEW James Bond Will become agent Double*O*Bama
Breaking: Obama wins "Dancing with the Stars"
Breaking: Obama walks on water.Obama has just walked across Lake Michigan
Breaking: Obama wins 2009 AKC "Best of Show"
Breaking: Obama challenges Kobayashi to hot dog eating contest
Breaking: Obama cures cancer and diabetes
Breaking: Obama nominated for 5 Academy Awards
Breaking: Obama declared Master of Time, Space and Dimension
Breaking: Just been announced that Obama has won the Nigerian Lottery
Breaking: Obama named The Fifth Element
Breaking: NHL cancels season awards Stanley Cup to Obama
Breaking: Obama wins "Survivor" reality show
Breaking: Obama wins proctology award
Breaking: Obama canonized as a "Saint" in Rome
Breaking: Obama named employee of the month at a Wendy’s in Reston, VA.
Breaking: Obama takes pole for this Sunday’s Pepsi 500 at California Speedway
Breaking: Obama named Time's Man of the Century
Breaking: Obama inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Breaking: BARACK OBAMA WINS IDITAROD
Breaking: Barak Obama Wins 2010 NBA Dunk Contest
Breaking: President Obama receives Cong. Medal of Honor
Breaking: Obama wins Ms. California title
Breaking: Obama Named Miss Hooters 2010
Breaking: Kim Jong Il Resigns, Names Obama New Leader of North Korea
Breaking: Obama wins Medium Coke with McDonald’s Scratcher
Breaking: Obama wins National Spelling Bee
Breaking: Obama wins 2010 Soap box Derby