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Posted by: Scootergptx
You should be eating fresh fruit 1of4.
(passes an apple that's been made into a pipe)
Posted by: Scootergptx
You know, coming from a guy that was wearing a dress and no underwear in here yesterday, I'm not sure how to take that.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Is that a laser the monkeys humping? BR>
Posted by: Scootergptx
I need a beer and a newspaper. And you may want to stay at least 10 feet away from the bathroom.
Sorry 1o4, but for safety reasons, you'll need to put out that smoke.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Wheeeewww!!! I feel like a new man now. BR>
Why are the dancers laughing at me? (checks shoes for toilet paper)
Posted by: Scootergptx
Relax, I'll get them back.
(opens door)
FREE BEER!!!!
And what's so funny? Everytime I walk by someone they laugh. (checks zipper)
Posted by: Scootergptx
(gets up from being trampled)
Guess I should have said light beer. That one fat chick actually has hooves.
She looks easy too. BR>
(picks up paper on floor)
DANGER! combustable materials inside keep away from all sources of ingnition and open flames.
Where'd this come from?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: motox26
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Don't just stand there Moto! Give it mouth to mouth! hr>
No no, Im to young and inexperienced! Go ahead....better yet, scoot you take this one!
(takes off his hat and places it over his heart)
Sorry poo.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
(looks around) Who the hell is playin Taps? hr>
It's the monkey! BR>
And he got the bugle stuck up his OOOHHHH! Not touchin' that bugle ever again.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: deanz400
hey Mr. D set them up I'm buying ...a toast to the poo ..
hey checkout monkey he looks like he's crying .
Well if I had a bugle shoved up my ass, I'd cry too.
2 for 1. Better give me 4 then.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Not so much age. But just plain weirdness wanting to see a monkey with a bugle up it's ass.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Hey, just another friendly service you get here at the bar. I mean, is a family member going to stay calm when you ask to see something like that? We won't judge you here, as long as the alcohol flows and the houka still smokes.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Hell, mine would say the bubble ain't even showin' BR>
Dumass, bring me a nightcap. BR>
Posted by: Scootergptx
Hey Fred.
You seem like a talented kid, how about playing a song on that bugle on the bar?
Posted by: Scootergptx
I think he has.
Man, Trixie's got one hot body, and one really mean streak.
Anyone get to see Fred play the bugle.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Well, be sure to tell him he shouldn't be too proud of the mustache he has now.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Fred gave himself a Hitler.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Well that just ruled out salad for lunch.
Guess I'll just have a drink. BR>
Better make it two, I'm hungry.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Quote
Originally posted by: motox26Quote
Is that with syrup or honey?
Huh? ya lost me on that hair pin turn. hr>
Kind of scares me too.
Motox, tell me you don't have knowledge of salad tossing.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I know what getting my salad tossed is, just hope you're not doing any tossing.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Don't know why, but I have the urge to drink something with milk in it.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Be careful where you sit. He may have brought his "service" chair. BR>
A round of drinks for the house, all doubles. (must be a side affect of OFC pics)
Posted by: Scootergptx
Well, Fred did take away his bugle.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Today is a special day.
(breaks out a chunk of Lebonese blonde)
Who's ready to get happy?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Thanks TPR! BR>
In all fairness to RC, if she wants a lap dance, I'll do it.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Quote
Originally posted by: hellyehQuote
There's lots more where that came from , i'll save some for D .hr>
Sweet, then we can laugh are asses off watchin the monkey after we get him Blitzed. hr>
Check this out! I found an inflatable monkey at the zoo. BR>
Heeeeyyy monkey!!
Posted by: Scootergptx
Check it out. Three cases of whipped cream.
(inhales a can)
Wooaaa! Hey Trixie, want to see what it'd look like if you have a snow white kitty?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Wow, I haven't seen this many bodies laying around since my last bout with depression.
(grabs bull horn a steps outside)
THIS IS THE POLICE. WE HAVE THE PLACE SURROUNDED.
(Scooter laughs, hard)
(Scooter gets trampled by mad rush coming out of bar)
Ouch.
Posted by: Scootergptx
D4, i never knew a person could run that fast and put they're pants on. BR>
Would have been nice, if you had them on before you ran over me.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: MrDumass
Did I tell you guys that we found out Trixie was the one in the Mt. Dew video...we traded her for two sets of twins. One blonde set....one brunette set...they also agreed to dye their hair to red upon request. hr>
I hope they don't have her temper, or cola dispensing abilities.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Done! BR>
Wow, MWQ!
Posted by: Scootergptx
Anyone want to warn him about monkey? Or at least warn him about wearing shorts.
Posted by: Scootergptx
You've been in a few times MWQ. And it is special when you're here. BR>
But if you had a video camera, you could tape Monkeys Gone Wild. He gets a lot more frisky in here for some reason.
Posted by: Scootergptx
What's on the lunch buffet today? Wings, tater skins, cheese sticks..
Oh no, cocktail weiners?! Like I didn't see enough of those when I got run over this morining.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I don't think my grill ever gets a rest. But now the smoker is really going to get used. BR>
Now, what really sounds good is a old fashioned fish fry. BR>
I'll start it off by having a beer. BR>
Hey, the new blonde smells like she's already been to fish fry.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Much better. BR>
Oh, and she's got fishnet stockings too.
Hey baby! Check out my bait!
Posted by: Scootergptx
"Monkey fishing is an illegal method of fishing that was popular years ago, in which the fishermen use a homemade device to send an electrical charge into the water, which causes the fish to swim to the surface to escape the charge. The fishermen then use long-handled dip nets to scoop the slightly stunned fish out of the water."
So if the monkey can't slip a rohypnol in their drink, he just zaps them?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: MrDumass
Better then dynamite. I'd never slip something in someones drink......except for my own. hr>
I never understood why someone would use that. I knew girls that were conscious and still it was like a dead fish. BR>
The only thing I'd put in someones drink is a pair, and a straight. BR>
Here's you beer, Motox. (turns around and zips up pants)
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Quote
Originally posted by: ScootergptxQuote
The only thing I'd put in someones drink is a pair, and a straight. hr>
What kinda bar is this? Poker in the front and liquor in the rear? hr>
House rule # 3, You can only play your own hand.
We got Amsterdam rules, not San Francisco.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: motox26
Quote
Originally posted by: Scootergptx
Here's you beer, Motox. (turns around and zips up pants)
Every time I come in here someones picking on ol' Moto.
I know, and I apologize Motox. Here, let me get you another beer. Brenda, bring Motox a beer!
This way, we'll both enjoy it. BR>
Posted by: Scootergptx
(Scooter throws two bottles of baby oil on the stage, )
Now, let's really celbrate for TPR!
Posted by: Scootergptx
(Scooter throws 1of4 a set of earmuffs)
Here! He's going for the ears! BR>
(1of4 slips on the baby oil and sends the monkey flying into a dancer that's bent over)
Wow! I don't know what the high jump record is, but she had to come close to it.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: blviper26
Who's that Moto guy, he gets all the lady's attention! hr>
It's always the ugly dog that gets adopted at the pound first.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: motox26
Quote
Originally posted by: Scootergptx
It's always the ugly dog that gets adopted at the pound first. hr>
At least Im getting adopted! hr>
Two words Motox, animal testing.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: MrDumass
No, you have motox cornfused with OFC....he is the one into the beastality. img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
It worse than I thought. He's being adopted by a Korean couple. Motox may be their next dinner.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: motox26
Quote
Originally posted by: Scootergptx
It worse than I thought. He's being adopted by a Korean couple. Motox may be their next dinner. hr>
BR>
Wait a minute, some Korean women are hot!hr>
I don't think you want to be inside her the same way she wants you. BR>
(Fat Bastard voice)
I want you in my belly!
Posted by: Scootergptx
Hey, since it was oily in here already, I got this.
(Scooter unrolls a slip n slide)
Posted by: Scootergptx
Ok Ok, enough of the slide ladies. Too bad no one else was here to join us. BR>
Well, except for monkey. He looks so cute sleeping in the corner like that. Don't know what those brunette twins did to him, but he is just wore out. BR>
Hope all the other guys enjoyed the steak and bj night. I had a blast eating here.
Posted by: Scootergptx
By all means, there's plenty to go 'round.
Careful, some are a little on the raw side. BR>
I'll be over here, throw somethin' at me if the monkey wakes up.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Give a tall one, preferably that redhead dancer over there. BR>
Who did the burnout on the floor? And how come 1of4 won't sit down?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Well steak and bj night was a failure at home, but it sure was a hit here last night. Dumass, see if TPR can add that as a regular thing.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Who showed monkey the do the dew video??!!!
I walk in and he's got a beer can up his ass, pouring a drink.
From now on, it's draft beer for me.
Posted by: Scootergptx
It was like a bad accident. Couldn't help but look.
You know I could have kept quiet and just had the monkey get you all beers.
Posted by: Scootergptx
PPFFFFFTTTT!!!!
Next time, warn me BEFORE I drink.
I'll be right back.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Alright, I'm back.
(grabs monkey and shoves a butt plug in him)
They couldn't believe I was asking for a large at the store. BR>
Whoever decides to pull that out better warn everyone. No telling what come flying out of there.
Posted by: Scootergptx
First monkey in space under his own power. Just might work.
I ain't cleanin' the launch pad afterwards.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I think not eating until yesterday evening, and then going to bed has made some of my own rocket fuel.
Think I may need to go crop dusting. *
*Crop dusting: walking past a series of cublicle while passing gas.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Be more like napalm. Still not firm.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Had corn and red peppers the other day. Looked like I sh!t vegetable soup.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Should we start a pool to bet on when monkey blows that plug out?
Let's have a round of beer. And no dark beer.
Posted by: Scootergptx
BYOB BR>
Check the cooler by my feet. Monkey can't get it with me sitting here. I'm keeping an eye on this coole...Hey check out the size of those boobs BR>
Anyone feel anything fuzzy just run by their legs?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Though about shaving them off just to keep the monkey away.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Hey, once they've had a man with no eyebrows, they'll never go back.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Or they might think your an Intergalactic alien and want an Anal Probe. hr>
I won't rule out performing one of those on the dancers. BR>
Mine says, "Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you happy to see me."
Posted by: Scootergptx
Can we get a few rounds delivered over to the moderators section?
Just kind of peace offering.
If they would just stop in here, we could actually give them a piece offering from one of the dancers.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Well, we'll know where to find you later, anyway. BR>
Ladies, give that man a lap dance. Before he loses consciousness.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Good thing we put that homeless shelter in the back room huh. hr>
Uh, I kinda locked the monkey in there a few times. Whoever goes in there may need a good hosing off when they come out.
Posted by: Scootergptx
We need to clear off a table and get a clean chair for Happydad. BR>
Or is it clean off a dancer and pull up a table for Happydad?
Posted by: Scootergptx
We need to leave a note on the door. Last person out needs to pull the plug on the monkey. Outside.
Posted by: Scootergptx
It's Friday dammit!!
I got a fistful of ones, and "Girls, Girls, Girls" cranked on the jukebox.
Bring me a bottle. And a blonde, and brunette, and redhead, and a brunette that dyed her hair blonde, and a girl with black hair, and a girl....
img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
Posted by: Scootergptx
If I have to spend a Friday evening alone in a strip bar again, I'll do it.
Time to take control of the situation.
(Scooter rips off his shirt and jumps on stage)
All right ladies, time for me to dance for you!
(picture Homer Simpson on stage, but with more hair)
Posted by: Scootergptx
Woo Hoo!!!!
No matter how bad my body looks, I'm still the hottest guy in the bar. BR>
Get off the stage monkey, you're crowding me.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: MrDumass
Sh*t...that is just a warm-up. hr>
And that's the last we heard from him. Anyone check the back room?
Posted by: Scootergptx
At least one of them will be smiling on Monday.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I'll have what he's having, but without the coffee.
Well I see the monkey is in a good mood this morning. We'll just have to wait and see if Dumass is.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Is MrD wearin lip gloss? hr>
I sure hope that he just needs a shave.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Let's have a round for the house. BR>
Hell, make it two. (holds up three fingers)
Posted by: Scootergptx
Ever have one of those mornings that just have you wanting to snuggle up to a bottle?
Bring me a bottle of Jagermeister.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: RUFFCOUNTRY I almost decided to quit drinking, pass the jaiger.
BR>
That thought even scared the monkey.
Posted by: Scootergptx
You know, he is looking a little bloated.
I say the last one sober has to pull the plug. BR>
Soooo, I have another drink.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: mywifesquad
Quote
Originally posted by: RUFFCOUNTRY
wait till you pull his plug.
If your pulling the monkeys plug!!!!??? Im outa here!! hr>
Of all the times to come to the bar MWQ. BR>
I think sometime this afternoon, someones gonna have to give that monkey some relief. Hope no one has their good clothes on today.
Oh hi Brenda. Was just commenting on how I hope you have no clothes on today.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: mywifesquad
Quote
Originally posted by: Scootergptx
I say the last one sober has to pull the plug. hr>
I havnt had a drink in over 20 years.......Give me something quick!! hr>
If there ever was a legitimate reason to start, this would be it.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: mywifesquad
Quote
Originally posted by: Scootergptx
If there ever was a legitimate reason to start, this would be it. hr>
Does material count? hr>
Amsterdam rules. BR>
Maybe I should have worded it as whoever has the best grip on reality. Shoot, I'm out right from the start.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: RUFFCOUNTRY
And the blood banks out of 80 proof transfusions?
This is an emergency! Good God, get this man some Everclear!!
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: RUFFCOUNTRY
and a lighter
No fart lighting.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Ok, got a new contest for the bar.
(places a jar full of jelly beans on the bar)
The person who guesses the right number of jelly beans in the jar, gets to be first at the door when the monkey's plug gets pulled. Only a dollar a guess. BR>
Should the boiled eggs in the jar be that color of blue?
Posted by: Scootergptx
(looks suspicicously at jar)
I wonder if the pink ones taste like pepto bismal?
(takes one)
No one will ever miss one.
Posted by: Scootergptx
When I read the title of this thread, I thought someone had messed with monkey.
Posted by: Scootergptx
D4, we'll have to refer that one to TPR. Armand can get anything out, just don't think he'll want to deal with that mess.
But, we could take him to the closest house, and tie the plug to their door handle, ring the bell and run off.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Let's see how the jelly bean jar contest is going.
3 jelly beans???!!!! BR>
Oh, and they're red ones, my favorite. BR>
0 jelly beans???!!!
Posted by: Scootergptx
Why is the monkey tied to the front door?
It's got to be a door that pulls in for it to work.
I'm starting to feel sorry for the little fella. May put on my bio hazard suit and let him cut loose.
But first, I'll need a drink. And some nose plugs.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Monkey at bar. Monkey
Posted by: Scootergptx
That looks like a natural fit for him. BR>
I have a strange craving for kidney beans today.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Oh look I found the rat kidneys behind the bar. hr>
Do they have a rat wrapped around them? I had a fake mouse I set on the floor. Man, shoulda seen the dancers jumpin' on my lap then.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Hmmm.... that gives me an Idea I need to find a toy Rat for cats. Make it radio controlled and chase the dancers around with it. hr>
They already make them. Saw one at Target, but wasn't paying 15 bucks for it. It was only about 3 inches long. Trust me, they don't run when you chase them with something that small.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
$15? BR>
Dammit! There goes that idea. hr>
Hang on, I got 17 bucks from people guessing the jelly bean count. D4 guessed four times when it was empty. Wrong each time. BR>
I'll just say it was a tie. Just remember to put monkey outside the door before we let them out.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Better throw some vodka and kahlua in with that milk.
Posted by: Scootergptx
A shot of milk does sound good.
And I'd like it from those jugs right there. BR>
(looks around to make sure there are no man boobs present)
Posted by: Scootergptx
Anyone ever try the drinking a gallon of milk in an hour? Always thought that I could do that.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Don't feel bad, D4. That monkey can hold his licker, I mean liquor.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Set up a round for the house. With all these dancers around, the only thing I wanna see in anyones hand, is a drink.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Check this out ladies! Holding 3 drinks, and only got 2 hands. BR>
(1of4 walks past and accidentilly bumps black stool out from in front of Scooter)
Awwww, dammit.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Got a fistful of dollars, and it's hump day.
Posted by: Scootergptx
As long as he has them on.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Alright ladies enough lounging around. We aint payin ya to do nothin. So lets get busy! .hr>
I think it's illegal to pay them what I want. BR>
I think a fuzzy navel would be in order.
Get away monkey!! I said fuzzy, not hairy.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I think I got more tip than shaft.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I sure wish they'd have asked before they circumsized me. It ain't much, but every little bit helps.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Are those D4's pants hanging from the ceiling?
Posted by: Scootergptx
(looks closer at pants)
Yep, and he's still in 'em.
Hey D4, want a beer? (shakes up a bottle and sprays the ceiling)
Give me one for the road. Won't be back till Monday, so ya'll behave. And someone pull the monkeys plug.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Looks like a bad day to ask for a stiff drink.
Posted by: Scootergptx
(Scooter walks in wearing a full bio hazard suit)
Todays the day. In Motox's honor, we're gonna pull the monkeys plug.
I'm gonna give everyone in here a 3 beer head start.
(everyone runs for the door)
Make that 4 beers. Hang on D4, I'll get a ladder and get you off the ceiling, again.
Posted by: Scootergptx
(Scooter runs out of bar, screaming like a girl)
(panting) I forgot to secure the trap door on the suit. Little sh@t caught me bending over to pick up a quarter. Which by the way, very funny whoever glued that to the floor. Anyway, I managed to escape unharmed. But the monkey was running after me, and the plug got tangled up in a combination of g-strings, bra's and someones pants. (looks directly at D4)
Anyway, he was struggling to break free, but I fear the worst.
(Suddenly a very loud FFFFFTTTTTT!!!! comes from the bar, and all windows turn brown)
Well ok. Looks like my job is done here. Armand....
Posted by: Scootergptx
(Scooter walks in bar with 4 cases of bubble bath, sponges, 5 kiddie pools and a water hose)
Feeling partly responsible, I thought of a way to clean this place up. BR>
Ladies, let the skinny dipping begin. img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
Posted by: Scootergptx
I thought table 11 was a group of Motox's friends. Thought I heard them mention his name and something about a parade.
Posted by: Scootergptx
While there is great pride in the military, I don't think that's the type they were reffering to about their parade.
When's the last time this bar saw a good ass whoopin'?
(Scooter downs a shot of JD)
Time to go over to table 11. I think TPR wil approve of this.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
(Hold ups Double sized shot glass) TOO MOTO AND HIS FAMILY! hr>
(Scooter stands on the head of one of the table 11 patrons)
TO MOTOX AND HIS FAMILY!!!
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Scooter, you have two feet I would apreciate it if you stood on two heads. hr>
If you noticed the way he was writhing, I was.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Tell the monkey to hold the door open, we're takin' out the trash. BR>
(Accidentally kicks someone in the head. See's they're from table 11 and kicks them again)
Posted by: Scootergptx
That was fun. Haven't been in a good bar fight in years.
Let's have a round for the house. BR>
Posted by: Scootergptx
(Scooter walks in bar, zipping up pants)
Ya know, now would be a good time to start that pond out back. Gave ya a good start on it anyway. Wouldn't reccomend swimming in it right now though. BR>
I need a drink, but not a beer. Looks to much like what I just relelased.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Fine, I'll drink alone. BR>
(takes off pants)
Hmm, D4 may be on to something here. BR>
(cuffs monkey to the bar, and a stray dog)
Now, for a night of drinkin' with topless, and soon to be bottomless, dancers.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Hey D4. Yep kinda like the airy feeling. BR>
Hey, is that a black pipe on the houka?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Not sure if this means anything but, the monkey is wearing the dogs collar now.
And he picked the lock too. BR>
(Scooter starts frantically looking for his pants)
Posted by: Scootergptx
Got another error code myself.
Oh well.
Think I'll just sit here and drink.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Fifteen men on the dead man's chest-
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil had done for the rest-
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
Well then, rum and coke it is.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
Still feelin a bit under the weather. Barkeep Gimme a Hot tea with lemon and a shot of Wild Turkey. hr>
Sorry to hear you're still not up to par 1of4. Sure you want that tea and lemon?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Feed a cold, starve a fever, drown your sorrows.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Trying to think of a drink to name in zperfromance's honor.
So far, I envision it as being an 8oz (half pint) drink.
Gimme a shot, maybe that will help.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Ok, black pipe it is.
Take an 8oz glass, fill with ice. Add 1 shot jagermeister, 1 shot vodka, and fill with coke. Add lemon slice (thinking of yellow z).
Keep drinkin until you ask stupid questions.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Business should be picking up soon.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Might want to stock up on dollar bills too.
What the hell, give me a black pipe.
No! The drink dammit!!BR>
D4, we're gonna get a crowd, so easy with the pants.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Don't see how it could be, only people we insult are each other. Besides, where else is the monkey gonna hang out?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Yep, damn revenuers. BR>
Time for a shot!
Posted by: Scootergptx
I had a positive influence on this site today. Bet that don't make my notes.
Posted by: Scootergptx
How about a nice frosty mug full of beer. 80 degrees outside, need a nice cool down.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Did anyone else see a blur just go by? BR>
Hey, what's with the lab coat behind the bar?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Hhhhheeeeyyyyy oooonnnne oooofffff ffffoooouurrrr. Wwwwhhaattt'sss tttthheee bbbiiiggg hhhuuuurrrryyyy???
Posted by: Scootergptx
Better slow down 1of4, I see sparks coming from your knee.
Posted by: Scootergptx
With a little ingenuity, he could make himself a 1of4 alarm.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I had it all figured out before, but TPR didn't like me holding my head under a running tap. BR>
(Scooter drops a quarter in the juke box)
It's another tequila sunrise
Starin' slowly 'cross the sky, said goodbye
He was just a hired hand
Workin' on the dreams he planned to try
The days go by
Set 'em up.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I think they officially changed the name of Bloody Marys in here to Redwings. BR>
The monkey sure seems sedate lately.
Whoa! Shift change for the dancers!
Posted by: Scootergptx
I'll skip the redwing myself. No need for a transfusion here.
Crown and seven sounds good, but seven Crowns sounds even better.
Posted by: Scootergptx
(Scooter watches dancer walk by)
You know, those can be used as a flotation device. Let's go out back to the watering trough and I'll show you.
Posted by: Scootergptx
D4, I think you got the wording wrong.
The monkey just got done pleasing himself. BR>
Watch your step.
Bring me a bottle of Jose gold, and keep the lid, it no longer has a purpose.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Check out what I got for the monkey! A weasel! BR>
Here monkey.
Now everyone sing along:
Round and round the dancer's stage
The monkey chased the weasel,
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun
Pop! Goes the weasel.
Guess I could have let him put it in the microwave. BR>
MrD, a little coffee, and a lot of Kahlua please.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I'll have a dozen of each.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: happydad
Quote
Originally posted by: Scootergptx
Check out what I got for the monkey! A weasel! BR>
Here monkey.
Now everyone sing along:
Round and round the dancer's stage
The monkey chased the weasel,
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun
Pop! Goes the weasel.
Guess I could have let him put it in the microwave. BR>
MrD, a little coffee, and a lot of Kahlua please. hr>
lol pop the weasle
hr>
Oh the monkey popped the weasel all right. Last I saw, he was smoking a cigarette.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Hey, these weren't the types of bushes I was expecting. But I drank 'em anyway. And the 12 teas, and ate the 12 wings. I'm havin' troulble with the roast beef though.
Hmmmm. Hey Brenda, I need you to sit on this sandwich. Now put this one on your lap. Yeah, I can eat it now.
Posted by: Scootergptx
MrD, you need to run this idea by TPR.
The monkey show. How many different animals will the monkey violate.
It's a pretty sick thing, so it should sell out.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Being Good Friday and all, I decided I will just stay in bar, and come out on Sunday.
Posted by: Scootergptx
MrD, TPR may want to randomly shut down the zone just to bring business in here. Noticed how it picks up when that happens. BR>
Needs some orange juice to start the day. And don't forget the Aboslut. BR>
Posted by: Scootergptx
Dang D4, is that you under that pile of silicone? BR>
You better have a couple of drinks, that smile may never come off your face.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Better read the bar rules D4. You mention having fun and playing with balls in the same sentence, we cut you back to black coffee.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Gettin' to be that time of year. Wet t-shirt contests on the back patio? BR>
Shoot, I'll even offer to pour.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Hey ladies, want to see my beauty mark? BR>
(drops pants)
Look at that, a beauty, ain't it? img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
Posted by: Scootergptx
Ever wonder how long a tap would run before the beer runs out?
(Scooter goes behind bar, puts head under tap and pulls the handle)
Posted by: Scootergptx
pppppffffffttttt!!!!
MONKEY!!
Posted by: Scootergptx
Check out the dancer on stage now! BR>
(sets a banana on 1of4's foot) (the good one)
Well hey monkey, watcha doin' with that mallet?
Posted by: Scootergptx
That certainly explains why D4 always has his pants off. BR>
Think we should tell him the monkey is on a spree?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Better just sell me the whole box.
Posted by: Scootergptx
(Scooter leaves a 50 on the bar and takes the box of sinner mints)
(looks at monkey, and gives him half the box)
Lord knows you need these more than anyone else in here.
Hey D4.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Sinner mint. Hmmm, I think we've just come up with a new flavor of edible underwear.
Gotta find RC and see if I'm on to something.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Speaking of twins, isn't that the Coors Light twins over there? BR>
Posted by: Scootergptx
They may look like identical twins, but trust me, they're not. img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
Posted by: Scootergptx
Not to confuse the Coors twins with Millier Lite, but they taste great. And they were less filling too.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Girls, you better go back to the Rockies. You stay around here too much longer, and I will have a sh@t eatin' grin on my face. BR>
Posted by: Scootergptx
Been in here 3 days with just the dancers. BR>Wrote me a song about that. Wanna hear it? Here it goes.
(Blues melody)
Three days in a bar,
No one walkin' in.
Three days in a bar,
Seems like such a sin.
Look at all them women,
Swingin' on them poles.
Look at all them women,
Not wearin' any clothes.
Three days in bar,
Just three days in a bar.
Man you guys don't know what you've been missing in here. BR>I haven't seen the monkey for 2 days, but occasionally here monkey noises from the back room.
Which reminds me, didn't that get made into a crash room? Maybe I should check to see who the monkey's been violating.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Been in here for a week.
Good thing the girls are here. They even let me wear their underwear. BR>
Any one else get a rash from g-strings? I got one behind my left ear. Am I not wearing these things right?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Well I went and knocked on the back room, and this is what I heard. BR>
Monkey
Posted by: Scootergptx
(Steps over HD and gets a cup of coffee and bottle of whiskey)
They're so cute when they're sleeping.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Business sure was better when the monkey's ass was plugged.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: deanz400
Hey Mr D i thought this was a pants optional ,place .
Don't worry D4, doesn't say we have to wear them. BR>
TPR, can we do away with the metal detector? Haven't seen 1of4 in here since you put it in. BR>
One of the girls said she had a wood detector. Thought it was BS at first, but she found mine.
Posted by: Scootergptx
(cricket noises)
Posted by: Scootergptx
Hey 1of4, good to see you again. BR>
The girls had been asking about you. I just told them you were having a sex change.
Posted by: Scootergptx
(bouncing head off tables as Tank drags him out)
What I said (thud) was you had gone (thud) to get an oil (thud and bounce) change.
With all the noise (thud) the girls may have (thud) heard me wrong (thud, bounce and scrape). But they sure started to (thud) pay attention to me. (thud)
The monkey (thud) has a twenty (thud) if you want to dance for him (thud).
(how many tables are in here, I'm getting a headache)
Posted by: Scootergptx
Hey! That dancers not wearing pants! BR>
But I'll still be the gentleman and see about servicing her.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Dumass!!! Fix that light on the stage!! BR>
Damn monkey in a g-string. img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-mad.gif" border="0">
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: MrDumass
NO WAY! I put the uglys over there, that way they still make some money for TPR. Guess you'll just have to use better judgement. hr>
Maybe not so much better judgement, just less impaired. BR>
But from a distance, the monkey had it going on.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Gimme a beer and a bucket. Gonna do my imitation of a funnel.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: MrDumass
Quote
Originally posted by: Scootergptx
Gimme a beer and a bucket. Gonna do my imitation of a funnel. hr>
Look Dean, a beer bong! Go ahead, I'll wait till you get your fill. img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
Oh yea! You may need to prime it first.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: MrDumass
Quote
Originally posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: MrDumass
Quote
Originally posted by: Scootergptx
Gimme a beer and a bucket. Gonna do my imitation of a funnel. hr>
Look Dean, a beer bong! Go ahead, I'll wait till you get your fill. img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
Oh yea! You may need to prime it first. hr>
(Rubs icy hot on hands) What you need?
(Scooter runs to juke box)
0 69. John Cougar, Hurts so Good.
Now that's some theme music.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Drinks all around.
Pants or no pants.
You no pants guys can pick up your drinks at the other end of the bar.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Well I'm all for that! BR>
Someone hand me my scuba gear. I'm going to the Busch Room. img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
Thanks TPR!!!!!
Posted by: Scootergptx
Welcome back D4! Let me buy you a drink.
If there weren't any ladies around, it's probably best you kept your pants on. BR>
Ladies, can someone help this man with his pants?
Posted by: Scootergptx
Bartender, I'll take what she's wearin'. BR>
Hey RC.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I think she'll be shocked someone asked. BR>
D4, you're setting a bad example for the rest of us.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: raptorchick
I kinda like the no pants rule...makes it easier for us girls to see what's up. img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> lol
And that's not a figure of speech?
Posted by: Scootergptx
BR>I set bad examples?
I always thought of myself as the guy moms point to and say "If you don't stop, you'll wind up just like that."
I'm just a 3D public service announcement. BR>
Posted by: Scootergptx
Well, I just have one......
of everything! BR>
It's a tuff job. Not every man can wake up in the morning, and look himself in the mirror and ask,
"Why are there a pair of womens panties on my head, and why is the woman still in them?"
Posted by: Scootergptx
img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif" border="0">BR>
Dumass, give those people at the table across from me a free round, and tell them I'm sorry I just spit my drink on them.
Posted by: Scootergptx
With this new no pants thing, the ac bill in this place should be dropping just in time for summer.
Speaking of summer, TPR, we need to have a fish fry and wet t-shirt contest soon. BR>
No D4, you can't enter.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Well, I see the bar didn't suddenly erupt in flames yesterday (06/06/06), so it must be safe to come in.
Where's Armando? I met up with a certain female cousin of his last week and now I can't get this stain out. BR>
Thought I saw the chef walk by, think I'll have an Irish coffee, steak and eggs for breakfast.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I knew I'd find you in here 1pf4. BR>
D4, do not point that thing at me. BR>
A round of drinks for the ladies dancing, a round of ladies dancing for the men with drinks.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Quote
Originally posted by: 1of4Horsemen
I sent OFC a Media file, Ask him for it if he doesn't send it to ya. It reminds me of this group of scallywags! hr>
If it's the Casa sign, he's already gotten it out. Man, he's good.
Posted by: Scootergptx
D4, I think it's still happy hour. We should get two dancers instead of one.
Posted by: Scootergptx
If the wife calls, I was never here. BR>
One more round for the house.BR>
(Scooter slips out the emergency spouse exit)
Posted by: Scootergptx
Thanks, D4, but alas, I must decline.
I stand in the shadow of greatness cast by TPR, for truly his greatness exceeds that of all others.
And Dumass is just on vacation, where he better be getting an eyeful of scantily clad women.
Yes, some men were born to run great commercial enterprises, where as I am more of a "Make that a doulbe, and send your best lap dancer" type person.
My job here at the lounge has, and always will be quality control.
For example. You see Candie over there? Now that looks like some quality stuff there. And when I tell her "A little more to the right", there's the control.
It's a tough job, but I will continue to do my best.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Got something to look forward to when I get home. BR>
Oh yea, and the wife.
Posted by: Scootergptx
D4 gets a lap dance from every girl in here, on my tab. BR>
What the hell, let the monkey give 'em one too.
Posted by: Scootergptx
Look at that monkey go.
