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Posted by: SandmanBlue
Can I add a few?
Anal duner - this guy just HAS to have everything in camp "just right", and it takes him an hour longer to unload/load his vehicle than anyone in camp.
Paramedic drinker duner - he drinks so much he sticks himself with an IV he brought along to re-hydrate in the morning.
Clapped quad duner - rides an atv (usually an LT250R) that looks like an abortion w/parts from several other brands, and for some reason an air filter that likes to fall off near China Wall. Typically doesn't do maintenance and suffers from float height issues on every trip. Everytime this guy is seen, people wonder how that quad is still running.
Tow-me duner - he carries a tow rope because he's still running an '01 tranny in his Raptor... Any time now...
Me-too duner - owns a quad, a 26' WW and an F-350 because everyone else does. He's broken a collar bone rolling it over a crest at 5 mph. Does more camping than riding.
Army duner - he brings grenade launchers, airsoft guns and night vision stuff for entertainment. Lit a bush on fire near another camp with a flare.
In need of a chick duner - this was the guy riding with 12 dildos superglued to his helmet. Dude, that's just wrong!
Old school duner - still has a pair of JT boots and pants circa 1986.
Camping lite duner - sleeps in his truck, eats cold canned food, ready to ride all the time.
Buzz-kill duner - This guy can't help but talk about his miserable life around the campfire.
Just bought me a quad duner - He's the guy taking a dirt nap in a witch's eye on friday afternoon. Just couldn't wait to hit those dunes for the first time in his life.
Don't know why I'm here duner - this guy gets invited to go to the dunes, has no idea what camping is like and trys to use the RV microwave w/o the generator running - which prompts the inevitable "how's this work?" question. Then he gets car sick in a sandrail. Never to return.
All of these are true. Most are my friends - until they read this post...
Posted by: SandmanBlue
Go to the dunes enough and you'll see everyone listed in this thread. It's funny how people just fit these descriptions SO well. BTW - the "Just bought a quad duner" was me on my 1987 200X three wheeler. 30 seconds after starting my bike in Buttercup, I'm on my head in the sand. I'm also the cold canned food guy, and darn near the Type "A" Personality duner except I don't brag about the ride, never blame the dunes for a bad line I pick, I listen to other people, but if their way off base I don't hold back, I ALWAYS make sure no one is left behind by riding at the slowest persons pace, don't have a mirror and have been in sales for 12 years. I also hate losing at the hills and am always doing something to my atv or bike to make is better/faster.
I want to go riding now...
Posted by: Sandgod
I'd have to say my brother Buddah is at the top when it comes to leading. He has a sharp wit and can make great decisions to keep the ride "flowing" at a very fast pace. I'm not quite as good, but I also like to ride a pace where the not so experienced guys can keep up and feel like they are not going above there abilities.. My bro forgets we have some less experienced riders or they aren't on the latest and greatest machines sometimes.
Posted by: tmm2good
Hmmmmm, didn't I just see this same thread over at the ASA site I think you hit them all on the head there.
Posted by: TractorPacker
Whats with clapped quad guy? I have had 7 quads, and have never adjusted my floats. I don't know why,or how, anyone could have to mess with a simple thing so much.BR>
Oh well, it is good to see that guy, it means I'm at the dunes.
Posted by: maddog56
Love the post, great funny stuff.
Posted by: Mjollnir
*sigh*
At heart, I'm the "Take the Dune Rides as they Come" duner. My L4-L5 disc disagrees. Doh!
Posted by: ShadyRascal
Quote
Originally posted by: Sandgod
I'd have to say my brother Buddah is at the top when it comes to leading. He has a sharp wit and can make great decisions to keep the ride "flowing" at a very fast pace. I'm not quite as good, but I also like to ride a pace where the not so experienced guys can keep up and feel like they are not going above there abilities.. My bro forgets we have some less experienced riders or they aren't on the latest and greatest machines sometimes.
2nd that, Buddah picks a great line.
Posted by: 1BADRAPTOR
The kind that dont bring there own sh!t on a 3 day trip...
Posted by: SandObsessed
JUST WHAT KIND OF DUNER ARE YOU ANYWAY?
Rhetorical aspects aside (who cares?), I believe the type of duner you are equals to the type of person you are in life. Your dune abilities mirror your personalities. In other words, if you have an out going personally, you probably dune the same way.
So let's look at the certain dune personalities that are everywhere in our dunes.
Type 'A' Personality -Duner.
This will be a duner that most likely will lead, and will brag to all that are within earshot of how great he was on the last ride. When he makes a mistake in the dunes (re: hits witch's eye) it's the dunes fault. No one in this duners mind is as good a duner as Mr. Type 'A'. He respects only his own judgment. He thinks he's ready for NASCAR. Keep up or get left behind, is his motto. He thinks mirrors are for sissies. This person is in sales.
His brother is the:
'I only can dune ONE speed Duner'.
Usually, "Fast and Furious". He is the least fun person to follow. You dune his speed or are left behind. He will leave the "Can't keep up Duner" behind, way behind; and does not care. He makes fun of all, which cannot keep up, which is everyone.
Can't keep up Duner.
You think this guy is slow, but really, he's not, he's just slower than the group, whichever group he's in. This special type of duner wants the world to revolve around his life and his problems, at his speed. He can't keep up no matter what the speed of the ride! He usually wants to ride near the back of the pack. When everyone dunes at say 40 mph, he falls further and further behind because he only dunes at 37 mph. So you slow the ride to 35 mph, but now he can't keep up again because he only dunes 32 mph. This guy has other problems and likes to be the funny guy around the campfire; but after he tells the same joke 5 or 6 times in the same weekend, is it still funny?
Type 'AA' Duner.
This fellow is also a leader, but he respects the dunes more that he respects himself. He suffers from low dune esteem. He may drive a standard travel rail. He is a better leader, than most. When he makes a mistake, he admits it; or says so anyway. He'll usually miss the witch's eyes, but tells you he's sorry he got you so close. This duner will be the most fun to follow. Fast but not out of control. He gave up drinking, but some times you'd wish he have a cold one, to loosen up. Quit apologizing, your becoming boring!
Forgetful Duner.
Get him a GPS and tell him to follow. He forgets to bring important things with him; like money on a dune ride that will take you near Vendors, Boardmanville, or Pair-a-dice. Wrong way is his middle name. Check his air pressure (in his head and tires) he hasn't.
Fearful duner.
In his daily life, he fears so much, he dunes the same way. He usually just hangs around camp and idles his tricked out quad or long travel rail up and back in front of camp. He says, "It's not running right", to hide his fear of the big dunes.
The MUST use his GPS to get there duner.
He bought the newest GPS 8" color screen, never takes his eyes off the arrow [or makes his son/girlfriend keep an eye on the arrow] Straight liner because he follows the GPS arrow! Hello... Follow the contour of the dune!
The 'Talker' Duner.
He talks the talk, but does he walk the walk? In a word-NO. He just talks a good dune ride; he's never really been on a good dune ride. He wants you to believe he's a great duner, but he's just a mimic. He's heard so many campfire stories that he steals some for him self. "There was this one time…" He starts most stories this way. He usually camps with the Fearful Duner. You'll see him hanging out at one of the Big Hills all day; he took Sand Highway to get there of course. Some times he just sits around camp all day talking and drinking. Best friends with the Poser Duner.
The 'Poser Duner'.
This guy is laughed at (behind his back of course), because he's so pathetic. He wants to fit in, but doesn't know how. He's married to Mrs. Poser who loves to ware her low cut tops and shake what she had in 1984. She'll hang out at the blender at night making everyone their favorite drink. Find Mrs. Poser on midnight rides with the 'Long Time Duner' after Mr. Poser has passed out.
The 'Long time Duner'.
This guy has duned so long that he's seen it all, and done it all. Mr. Long Time will bore you with stories on how it used to be, and how great the good old days were. The long time duner is a cranky old guy that has, been there, done that. Please, does he have to tell it all also? On dune rides at night, somehow he gets lost with Mrs. Poser.
The Broken Parts Duner.
He defies the law of averages. He's broken everything on his rail. Is it his fault or does he just buy cheap stuff? Last year he broke three ring and pinions, two diffs. He also burnt through a turbo and a new top end, starter and flywheel. In addition, his frame has seven cracks that have been welded, and three more cracks, he doesn't even know about. Maybe he is just unlucky.
The Bad MoJo Duner.
This guy enjoys his bad luck. Everything he touches turns to dust. He's not afraid to tell you his woes (he enjoys telling you that his crappy rail broke again). Unbeknownst to him he is making him self look like a numskull. He most likely has a pretty high IQ but has little or no people skills or mechanical skills. His best day at the dunes is when he doesn't loose the people he was following and his lights still work at 7pm. He's had more tow jobs than he can remember. As a point of reference, he thinks tow jobs are just part of the dune experience.
The Unlucky Duner.
He'll camp at a new spot only to have 47 tweekers move in right next to him. They'll play their music at 190db's, and just when the music is toned down a bit. They really keep our unlucky friend up all night tuning their rides before they actually go on a ride. Of course, none of the 47 has silencers on their quads and bikes. Our unlucky friend has broken at least three bones in his body because of the dunes. He's been a passenger in an end-o and he's driven one too. You don't want to see his scars.
The I'm 'Too Hot' for my shirt Duner.
He takes off his shirt to show off his physique. Put it back on dude, you're wilting the Milk Vetch. This show off artist has been known to dance to his own brain numbing head music (by himself). He really doesn't get it, He's a General Contractor in real life, and goes to a tanning salon three times a week. He met his last three girlfriends 'on line'. Or when he left the tanning booth.
Gucci Shoe Duner
He's Friends with Too Hot (shirt off) and Sand is Dirty, Duners. He hangs out at Olds Hill smoking foul cigars. He thinks he's cool. If he ever gets his own rail he'll be a Poser. Got to love his shoes.
Idiot Duner.
This guy does everything his own way. He may or may not be new to duning (some duners never learn). He stops at the wrong spots (like on a down hill slope with you hot on his trail) and doesn't look where he is going. He is his group leader. He stops his group to stop at the bottom of a bowl, so you can't see them until you crest the razor's edge and you're on top of them. Use extra caution when near this type of duner. He's most likely a scatterbrain in his non-dune life. Unfortunately, the Idiot Duner doesn't know he is an IDIOT, because, you guessed it, he's an Idiot! The irony he probably has a high IQ (most likely the 'I-T' guy at work), but his 'Dune Q' is low, very low.
Idiot Duner/combo Type 'A'
Pretty new to the art of duning, but he already knows it all! Also known as the 'know it all duner'. If this idiot guy is in combo with a Type 'A' he will most likely crash his first weekend on his new quad or rail. If he drinks adult beverages-Look Out! Has been known to de-bead tires and then ask-"How'd that happen?" Doesn't know which end is the open end wrench.
The A-ole Duner.
He's an A-rs-s. He is un-thankful for the 10-mile tow you gave him. He's unthankful for all the help he gets. He's usually stressed out, to the max.
You gave him 10 gallons of race fuel last dune trip and he just took it, thinking he had it coming... Some one give him a Prozak, please? He's best friends with the idiot duner.
The 'Can't Get Up in the Morning' Duner.
This fellow misses every early morn ride, and has never seen the sunrise, except when he has stayed up all night. He moans at you when you get back from the early morn ride-"Why didn't you wake me", is his plea.
The Take the Dune Rides as they Come Duner.
He usually waits patiently on his quad or rail for the next dune ride to start. He's a duner first, and foremost. Camp bs, and adult beverages in camp don't matter to him. He's always ready to go! He's the opposite of the 'Can't get Up' Duner. This duner is shy, and the Camp Queen duner has her eye on her.
The 'Sand is Dirty Duner'.
Geeze sand is well, sand. It gets you sandy. As simple as that concept is, the Sand is dirty duner must not have any sand on his quad or rail or in his camp, at any time. If he does, he worries that the sand particles will invade his dreams. When sand invades his space, he usually freaks out with the leaf blower or the compressor/air tank. He owns stock in 'Mothers Polish'.
The 'Camp Queen Duner'.
This prissy wan-a-be is so insecure that she wont let you take her picture in camp unless she puts on lipstick. Because most guys are dunder heads, she gets a lot of attention. She gets someone new to check her gas and oil daily. Her weekend is ruined if she breaks a nail. She has the 'hots' for Sand is Dirty Duner, but he's so rapped up in his clean world he doesn't realize.
The 'Rather be Intoxicated Duner'.
This guy drinks not to quench his thirst, but to just get blasted. He sometimes runs out of beer, so he can say "I only brought 36 beers to the dunes this weekend". The only problem with this is, he drinks his 36 and 4 from you and 10 from me. He wonders why he crashes at least once a weekend.
The 'Real Intoxicated Duner'.
This dude doesn't drink soft "sissy" adult beverages, no; he drinks his beverages from a hard liquor bottle. By 10am he's slurring his words.
The 'Thinks he's a Famous Duner'
There are only a few famous duners. Robbie Gordon, and no one else comes too mind. It is kinda funny when you meet someone that has had his Rail in a Magazine (or video) and he thinks he's special-what's up with that? He's just a duner with a nice rail.
The I'm the 'QUEEN' of Camp Duner…
This woman sets the tone for camp (or at least tries too). She's up at dawn smoking her cigs and taking care of her bladder control problem. She's very friendly at first and too your face, but look out! She'll knife you in the back to make herself look better to others. She usually fools around with Mr. Long Time duner (but she's only trying to dig up old dirt on someone). Her real agenda is to further her self in camp in the eyes of others. She'll say anything to get more power in camp. Some how she doesn't see the 50 pounds she put on since her Homecoming Queen days.
She brags that she just got asked for her I.D.-I.D. for what, the AARP?
The Fabricator Duner.
This guy owns a welder, and maybe a tube bender, so now he's a fabricator. He'll put down your new LT rail. He has build a rail before, or has at one time worked at a sandrail shop. He knows only one way, his. I pity his wife/girlfriend. In reality he knows nothing about-ackerman/bump steer/droop. He'll put a power steering unit on his rail to mask the bump steer problems it has. He should never quit his day job but he does. He survives by selling inferior products to unknowing idiot duners with bank. He brags that one day he'll be one of the top three Buggy builders around.
The Builds Engines Duner
His brother is The Fabricator Duner. He builds his own stuff, but it breaks. When you have an issue with how your rail was put together, he says: "You should have let me do it..."
NEVER let him do it!
The Head in Sand Duner.
With dune closures all around, he wonders where'd these closure stakes come from? He is a selfish type of guy, he loves to dune but is so uninformed it's scary! He'll drive right by you when you are picking up someone else's trash at a clean-up. He'll ask: "What's ya doin". He wasn't the smartest guy in High School, but he worked hard, and now owns his own business. Most likely a service company or possibly a roofer or plumber (sorry roofers and plumbers). He gets mad at the BLM because of the closures. He's never heard of the CBD or what the Sierra Club stands for. His rail horsepower is 10 times the amount of his IQ number.
(Who's your)Daddy Dune Bucks Duner
He has too much disposable income and must buy the latest greatest rail on the market. Can't dune it but he owns it. He and his disposable friends, keeps the big rail companies in business. For they MUST have the newest/bestest/latest NEXT Gen/ Newest Rail.…
Long Travel Envy Duner.
He knows that if he had more travel he could dune faster. It's not his fault that God only gave him 5 inches of travel. Not to be confused with the Long Travel Arrogant Duner.
Long Travel Arrogant Duner.
He Thinks his stuff is better than yours. It isn't, but he thinks he's a better duner than you because he has long travel.
---------------------------------------------------------------
One time at the Westmoreland Shell gas station and I ran into a couple of Long Travel Arrogant Duner. I was filling up and a dune trailer pulled in next to me. To make idle chat while we filled, I asked the two dudes on their way to Glamis:
"What cha got in the trailer?"
Their answer "A couple of Long Travel's"
I was confused, what did they mean?
Did they travel a long way to get to Westmoreland?
Then, I looked down at my Tee-shirt, it was:
a 'Let Marvin Shaw Shock You'-shirt.
What's their problem, don't they know I'm famous?
Hey you didn't comment on my great tan!
Don't they know Marvin makes long travel shocks now?
Geeze…Do you have your head in the sand?
Hey, check out my shoes!
Can't you see it's me?
Let me talk about how much weight I've lost...
I'll meet you at Olds Hill...
Wait a minute, come back here, I have a dune story to tell you…
Is China Wall in the Closure?
I've never..........
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Disclaimer:
This was written for the enjoyment of the duners (whom I have never had the pleasure to dune or camp with). Any similarity to any person alive or dead is purely coincidental.
Have a 'real' dune day, if you can.
-----------------------------------------
Steve
Posted by: SandObsessed
Quote
Originally posted by: tmm2good
Hmmmmm, didn't I just see this same thread over at the ASA site I think you hit them all on the head there.
Yea...
But not all Type "AA" Duners goes to the ASA site, too well, nice over there...
If you write it they will read...
Whomever 'they' are...
Posted by: kfx400kawasaki
...Did take a long time to read but worth evry min. I'd say I'm the "AA dunner" but I don't think I have a low self esteem. And I think a little bit of the "unlucky dunner".
Posted by: bl4cksh337
love your thread even though it took forever to read.
Posted by: AZDUNERAT
Personally I think the Sierra Club and CBD could fall off the face of the planet, and things would get better. I like to follow good group rides, not good enough to lead, but good enough to follow the semi fast to sub haulin but rides.
Posted by: kawiking
playing around and found this, i couldnt stop laughing.
Posted by: AFamilyofFour
omg....that hurt me to read....lololololol
Posted by: AFamilyofFour
SandmanBlue, do we know the same people???? lololol
j/k I only know about 1/2 of those types but I've seen them all...lol
Posted by: OUA660
owwwwwww my eyes won't come out of blurry mode.
I hate the can't get up in the morning duner why are ya even there?????
Then he moons you after 45 min. of yelling and his but print is on your camper window
Posted by: MoHot
That was very funny! We don't really have any dunes around me. I would still like to ride at Glamis or somewhere comparable though.....
