Pages: 1
Posted by: Kawi650
My theory is once everything is covered in mud does it really matter? and yes even nicely pressed black suits look better covered in mud.
Posted by: Raptoryfn660r
Quote
Originally posted by: DirtVH
I also suggest washing the seat of your new quad with a very strong disinfectant, this could dilute the formula.
Sound good to me, but you could get some angry responses if the disinfectant discolors the seat.
Posted by: 440EX026
I think there is deffinately some merit to your theories, and also think you should be applying to the federal Govt for a billion dollar grant to further your studies of this unusual phonomenon.
Posted by: DirtVH
I have observed some very disturbing behavior by people right after they purchase a new quad. This behavior is an unrational and pyschotic form of BRAND WORSHIP. This worship can take many forms some more disturbing than others.
(This condition seems to be much more pronouced in men than women)
I must put in a disclaimer here I am not a Doctor and these opinions are baised on my bored observations and have no scientific value that I know of.
1. There are the guys who will only talk to others who have purchased the same Brand as them some even suffer worse and those who bought the same machine as them are worthy.
2. There are those who feel it is their sworn holy duty to deffend the brand they have purchased. This can really get out of hand leading to having to read every post on a forum and attack vigoriously anyone who states any opion that is negative about their choosen Brand.
3. Some take this to the extreme of needing to attack every person who is a worshiper of a different Brand.
4. Some worshipers learn every possible detail and bit information as they possibly can. This can have two uses for these people it helps them attack non-believers and helps them inform and indoctrinate new converts.
5. Some of these people become such zealots that just the fact that someone else posts about another brand can set them of to the extent of calling people names and insulting the infidel who was unfortunate enough to have fallen victim to a dreaded evil Brand.
There are many other symptoms of this Brand Worship.
I have forms several different opions as to how this Brand Loyalty is passed to people, so bear with me here.
My personal favorite theory is that it is an evil plot by the Dealers (also know as the High Priests) they use a strange mixture of magic and chemistry to produce a formula that is applied to the seats of the quad when it is assembled. This formula is absorbed through the clothing into the skin of the unsupecting persons butt. (this could explain those who speak out of theirs) Anyhow this formula effects the minds of the rider leading to a kind of brain-washing. Not all people are effected but I believe that the dealers are trying to make this formula stronger. The only cure I know of is to get out and ride with as many different people as possible. I think that leads to cross contamination of the formulas and neutralizes the effects. This is just my theory so tell me yours.
I am posting this as a public service in hopes of defeating the forces of evil that are striving to drive us apart. I warn new potential quad owners to beware. I also suggest washing the seat of your new quad with a very strong disinfectant, this could dilute the formula. Or just because it is also possible that this disorder is spread by the body gases of others who have sat on the seat before you. (see note above about talking out of) Please beware of this complication to owning a quad and seek help if you find yourself suffering from any of the above symptoms. Outdoor group councilling is very effective, though the occassional secluded trip to the top of a mountain or lonely dune is also therapeutic. This does not mean I am paranoid although I am also considering the possibility that this is the work of evil aliens done to divide the smartest people on the planet and prevent them from working together against their pending invasion. Just one more theory to try and prove.
Ride long and fast, may the smell of exhaust and the sound of trails being pounded into submission by fat ATV tires fill your days.
Posted by: DirtVH
I need to add another disclaimer: test any cleaning agent or disinfectant you use on the underside of the seat first to make sure it does not discolor the material. Thank you for helping to keep the attorneys away.
If anyone else notices anything that I have failed to caution against please post it so as to prevent the lawsuits that our modern society is so fond of.
Posted by: DirtVH
Looking for experienced conspiracy theory grant writters to assist in securing major Federal Grant (read ripping off taxpayers because politicians might fund it if they are bribed by a good lobbiyst)
Perks will include ridding and trashing ATVs both contaminated and not contaminated. Because we will need to experience this from all possible angles and Brand influences.
Must be willing to deal with Men in black suits just incase we have to delete the part of the theory about the alien invasion, these guys have caused many people mostly hill billies with less than 6 teeth total between them and their wifes much stress.
Will require the sacrifice of hundreds of hours spent to determine how much ridding it takes to over come the effects of this Brand Worship formula. Scarriest parts will include possibly coming under the influence of the Honda formula that one and the Yamaha formula seem to be the worst. However the others seem to be perfecting their formulas and they are getting stronger too.
So brave souls step up and we will try to get rich ripping off the taxpayers like the goverment does.
400EX026 You will receive a finder fee for the idea as soon as I secure the Grant.
RAPTORYFM660r Please submit your qualifications for Grant Liability screener.
Posted by: DirtVH
I was trying one of those alcohol consumption grants too. But kept having problems with too much research and not enough documentation. Then the ultimate authority watchdog (read my wife) got tried of that particular research grant getting in the way of her home improvements plans. So now we just need to figure out how to combine these two ideas into a double funded grant. That leaves enough for both of us and a worthy staff. Might have to buy a cargo plane to do some of the research cause I want to ride in Alaska and it takes to long to drive up there. Sure you would want to see some of this country and do some dessert riding while it's too dang cold up there. I think there must be some conspiracy involved in the barley pop situation anyhow. Those things are just too hard to resist for there not to be something going on.
Posted by: DirtVH
The consumption of alcohol actually causes people to defend their brand harder, but it also impairs the other people preventing them from being able to understand the arguement anyhow. So net effect it does make the symptons better because with enough alcohol the discussion will turn to women or making fun of another group of riders. So that may be something that requires additional funding as we study just how much beer is required before the subject changes from brand loyalty to another more entertaining subject.
Posted by: Scootergptx
I was always partial to the "salesman on the grassy knoll" theory, but that's just me.
Posted by: BALLD
So let me get this straight the consumption of alcohol(after done riding of course) reverses the affectiveness of the formula absorbed by the buttocks during a long day/night of riding. Or is it that it increases the affectiveness . Oh, I so confussed I guess I will just have to join your focus group.BR>
DISCLAIMIER: It is against the law operate a motor vehicle under the inflluence of alcohol! Please drink resposibly.
Posted by: AlaskaBoy
DirtVh, I have one thing to say to that, find your own Govt Grant, that one is mine also the one where I measure the theory of how many average ounces of Bud come from the bottle on an average drink, unfortunantly after six bottles I lose track and have to apply for more funding do to insefectiant data. Of course one data can only be obtained after the one is finished for the day. One finding I have found out is when one does the bottle theory to much it increases the numbers, 2 and 3 on your list. You know, I wonder if I could get this funding? Hhmm? I have to go now, calls to make. AlaskaBoy.
Posted by: AlaskaBoy
My beer drinking, uh, I mean my grant research only takes place in Septmeber during moose season. It also the only time of the year that I have off from the HoneyDO list season. Yeah it is along drive up here. Might be cheaper to rent a truck and wheler then bringing one up. There was a couple of guys from Oregon who brought their quads last season to hunt, they had to rent two more quads for their kids and it ran them 150{atv} with the buddy deal my friend got them. They said it was fun driving the AlCan during the fall and looked forward to driving back. AlaskaBoy.
Posted by: AlaskaBoy
Oh so true, I try to actualy get into the brand loyalty talk as one of my buddys get into the research too much and another buddy will talk about his girlfriend and the first buddy goes into a 4 hour discussion over his exgirlfriend. There is not enough research availble to make him go passout and we have to listen about it over and over. I wish he would find someone else, she comes a calling everyonce in awhile and he falls for her everytime and then they breakup again and the then it starts all over. My wife does not want me to take any research materials on our next hunting trip but once in awhile there is a lull in the conversation and you know it only takes him a second to get riled up, then we have entertainment for the rest of the night. AlaskaBoy.
Posted by: grizz76
Sounds like your on to something with your theory.
Posted by: Carlbadmuva
hell yea fourwheelers look great in mud
